Wisdom from Titus2 Women to Single Girls, Part 1

“The older women likewise, that they be…teachers of good things – that they admonish the young women.” -Titus 2

I am super excited to be sharing this two-part blog post with you all!! Awhile back, I had the idea to approach some Christian women who were older than myself to ask them this question:

“What is some of the best advice you would give to a single young lady?”

Also:

“What would you tell your younger, 20-year-old self?”

I was so blessed by the responses I received to these questions, and I pray they are a blessing to you as well! (I highly encourage you younger ladies to go to older, godly women in your life and ask them questions like these!) Those who are in a different season of life than we are (whether it is a woman who has many years behind her, or a young lady who is just on the other side of her 20’s or has been married a few years) have so much wisdom and insight to share!

I am SO thankful for all of these Titus2 ladies who shared their hearts for this blog post!! 💗 They range all the way from 83 to 33, 😊 from married to widowed to single…and here is what they said:

The best advice I could give to my younger self would be to memorize Scripture, because memorizing God’s Word changes the very trajectory of your life. It changes who you are on the inside, so that whenever a decision or a choice has to be made, you aren’t making it in your own wisdom and insight — you have the wisdom and insight of God Himself to guide you. So many important decisions are made during your youth and young adulthood. Most of them are small, daily choices, but eventually you face much larger decisions such as who you marry or how to raise your children. If you begin hiding God’s Word in your heart and using those words to help you make each choice, you will end up in a far better place than if you try to make those decisions on your own.

Memorizing God’s Word is a lifelong discipline for believers, but as a young person, you currently have more time and a sharper brain than you will ever have again. Hide God’s Word in your heart while you are still young, and you will be reaping the benefits for the rest of your life.”

-59-year-old Titus2 Woman

There are so many things God has taught me through these 83 years, it is difficult to narrow it down to one lesson. But I guess the one thing God has had to keep giving me lessons over and over is learning not to worry. Due to my mom passing away when I was just shy of 6 years of age, and my dad bringing me to Arkansas for his mom to keep me for the next 2 1/2 years, the trauma of basically losing both parents was just the beginning of fear and anxiety for a little girl. (And perhaps it was just part of my DNA.) I didn’t have any knowledge of Jesus or the Bible because I have no recollection of every going to church. However, everywhere I lived for the next 13 years, there was someone who would take me to church. My aunt took me to church when in Arkansas and it was there that I learned about Jesus and was saved at age 11. Life was not always good with a step-mother and some of her younger brothers that lived with us in Texas, but it could have been much worse. Things I had to deal with just increased the worry that was so much a part of me. Of course, worry is just another name for fear, and I seemed to live in that world of fear/worry.

After I married and had children, I always had a deep-seated fear that something would happen to my husband or kids (like my mom having died so young), or was worried God would take me at a young age and leave my kids to grow up without me. I knew I was supposed to trust God with all things but somehow even when I prayed, I couldn’t release all my fears. Money was so tight for us during the time my husband was in the Air Force and even worse when he was discharged and we came back home.  That was always a major worry because I had seen my dad not pay his bills, and I couldn’t stand for us not to pay bills on time. God was giving me lessons all the time in learning to trust Him with our money woes if we would just give Him His part first. I’m a slow learner I guess, so God being the God Who works in mysterious ways gave me a lesson to remember, and He did it in such a humorous way that it really got my attention. One time in the 1980’s, my husband was between churches, and couldn’t find work to tide us over. I was working two jobs, and was having some health issues that couldn’t be diagnosed. I was exhausted but couldn’t take any time off to recuperate so just kept trucking along the best I could. I was in between paychecks and had $2.00 in my purse. I was taking inventory of what we just had to have grocery-wise to get by until the next week. We were out of orange juice and only had half a roll of bathroom tissue. I surmised one Friday afternoon I could borrow a roll of TP from the clinic where I worked, so I spent the money on orange juice…anything to help me survive physically! Saturday afternoon I went to the mailbox, and if you are a step ahead of me and just know I’m going to say there was a check in there, you would be wrong! It was a big, fat sample roll of Scott toilet paper! So, God got right to the “bottom” of my worries with that lesson! Do I still worry? Occasionally. But I always have to think that if God can supply toilet paper when I need it, He can supply anything I need. He might not always give me what I want, but He gives me what I need. And if he takes something (or someone that I love away), He gives me the grace to endure…and sometimes He even gives me something better! So my encouragement to young ladies would be trust God, be sure you are in the center of His will, and pray for your every need (including the husband-to-be that you might not have even met yet). Then wait for God to answer in His perfect timing!

-83-year-old Titus2 Woman

YOU ARE NOT A LADY “IN WAITING”

You may have a posture of waiting on the Lord at the moment, but we all do (and should!) often. Waiting on the Lord for direction, an answer, His work, or a desire on your heart in faith is a good position for His people to be in (Habakkuk 2:1, Psalm 40:1, Psalm 27:10). 

But singleness isn’t a “holding pattern”. You aren’t waiting for marriage or a family of your own as the purpose of God for your life. God’s ultimate call for your life is not marriage and motherhood; God’s call for your life is to know Him and love Him with all your heart. His purpose for you is not “until”… His purpose for you is now – every day! He is calling you to be a woman who follows Christ in every stage and season of your life. Marriage, motherhood, singleness, work, education, grand parenting, and everything else in time and seasons are the opportunities you have to love the Lord, as you are ever becoming who He has called you to be: a woman of God.

EXPERIENCE OTHER CULTURES 

One of the things I am so thankful I got to do was spend time with missions in other cultures and countries. It is something I believe anyone who is able should do! And one of the easiest and best seasons to do this in is singleness. There is a depth to knowing the Lord that can only happen when you are so out of your element that you have to depend that thoroughly on Him. There is a bigger perspective of who He is and what He does that can only come from seeing what is different than your own familiar corner of the world. And there is a richness to being part of the body of Christ that can only come when you have seen the light of Christ in someone who looks different than you, have worshipped the same God next to a brother or sister in another culture. Experiencing God working in different cultures helps you have a bigger view of God beyond the small amount you know.

SPEND LOTS OF TIME QUIET WITH GOD 

When you are single, it can be easy to wish you had more or different things to do with your time. But oh, single girl, use those precious hours of undivided quiet to be near to your God! You will not have that same space again. And no, you cannot “store up” those hours, to draw from that time if/when you have a husband and toddlers and groceries and meal preps and ministries and little quiet… But it will ground you in Him and keep pulling you toward Him in seasons where your time with Him looks different. When you have taken time to be near the Lord, to be still with Him, to study His word, to talk and listen to Him, then you will be rooted in knowing your God. That will strengthen you for any season or part of your life. You will have practiced seeking the heart of God and learned to recognize His voice and leading – and that is an investment invaluable to all of life.

-33-year-old Titus2 Woman

My best advice would be prayer. I prayed for my husband before I knew who he was. I prayed for God to send me someone serious not just a boyfriend. I didn’t want to just “date” people.

Also to see chores around the house and time management tasks as preparing for your own household one day and not be grumpy about chores like I was…I wish I would have viewed it as the training it should have been.

Seek out advice from older Christian women. I don’t mean to be rude, but I knew there was more to being a wife than the examples I had seen and been around so when I saw and met people being Christian, submissive, joyful wives, I looked to them for advice.

-36-year-old Titus2 Woman

“Run as fast as you can toward God, and if someone keeps up introduce yourself.” -Unknown

My biggest thought in my 20s, 30s, 40s and now 50s is that I never want to look back and see how I wasted life waiting to be married and missed out on so many opportunities to serve God and do a lot of other things that married friends and married mamas are not able to do.

Next, I’d say that God’s timing is absolutely perfect, and waiting is the stinkiest, hardest thing to do.

With 30 years more of waiting…my take away has been that for as hard as waiting has been, marrying the wrong guy or not who God has for you is worse.

I’ve got quite a few friends who couldn’t bear the thought of hitting their 30s single or didn’t know how to step away from the guy that they were dating and now are either: divorced or married to a man who is not leading their family in a godly manner.

I have girlfriends who have great success in meeting a man of God via a dating website. For me, that holds no appeal, I figure if He can create the universe, He can also find me a man of God without going online. BUT! again, that has worked for a handful of my good and godly girlfriends.

Also, my other big takeaway is that if you’re not content being single then getting married is absolutely not going to fix or change that…contentment in God isn’t dependent on our marital status or our job or our friends…

Romans 8:24-25 – “Hope that is seen is no hope at all, who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it, patiently.”

God will give you the desires of your heart or he will absolutely change those desires.

-56-year-old Titus2 Woman

Make wise use of your time

You should remind yourself, often, that life is but a vapor. (James 4:13-17), and that we will be called to account (Romans 14:12) for how well we redeemed our time (Ephesians 5:16). As I reflect on my life, I am often amazed at how quickly the years have passed, and I find myself an older woman.

It may seem “cliché” to say, but if I could, I would tell my younger self to make the most of every day. Prioritize your time: reading, studying, memorizing the word of God, and praying. I would suggest that there is no time like the present to memorize, it doesn’t get any easier as you age. 🙂 I like to choose really interesting (to me) word studies like: “will of God”, “above all”, “Pursue”, “Be diligent”, or “I beseech you…”. Studies like that, looking for passages that contain those words, seem to get at the heart of what the Father wants from us. The possibilities are endless for studying!

Time spent in serving others, writing to and verbally encouraging others, spreading the gospel, etc. is time well spent. Do you know younger children that you could encourage or lead in a Bible study? Maybe you know a young mother or elderly woman who would welcome help with house cleaning or meal preparation. Look around you and I’m sure you will find many opportunities to serve in your own house as well.


I would suggest that you write a to-do list. Actually, better would be a master one for long-term goals and projects, and an everyday one so you can hold yourself accountable to be diligent to use your time wisely. If you get up every morning wondering what you should do, you probably won’t accomplish at your optimum level. Much time can be wasted cruising on the internet or leisurely going about tasks as a matter of habit. I know some days we all may need to relax, or take it easy, but a friend of mine shared with me years ago that if you crank up the speed of your repetitive tasks, while still doing a thorough job, it is amazing how you will “find” time for things you thought you couldn’t fit in!

Instead of s-l-o-w-l-y going about a chore, get it done quickly so you can go on to other things. You will be working “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 6:7) and redeeming your time!

Spread the Good News

Another area in our lives that we are called to redeem our time is spreading the gospel. I admit I am still struggling in this area of my life, but I would encourage you to work on this…now, in whatever stage of life you are!

Colossians 4:5-6 says “Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”

Is it possible to push yourself, asking God to give you courage to talk to people about Jesus and have it get easier? I am hoping and believing it to be so!! God will answer our prayers, and it is His desire that all men should come to repentance.

I John 4:15 says “Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.” Jesus himself said in Mark 8:38 – “For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him the Son of Man also will be ashamed when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.”

In this sinful world when people who unashamedly walk in the deeds of the flesh proclaim their view, we need to have courage to tell others about Jesus, and His great sacrifice to offer all men a relationship with God!

Learn of and grow in God’s will

Have you ever wished that God would spell out exactly what He wants you to do?

Well, one place where He does is found in I Thessalonians 5. Verses 16-18 say:

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you!”

You could read more of that passage to find other areas you may need to grow. Or spend a lifetime on Romans 12 learning how to “present your body a living sacrifice”, with thoughts in this passage like “be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love”, “in honor giving preference to one another”, and “given to hospitality”, and many more. Wow, these and so many other thoughts bear much practice and thought! Read and study a passage like this, then choose some of the skills that you need help developing. Pray that God will help you and ask someone close to you to help you learn how to be more kind, if you could encourage each other to pray, or to give you ideas on how to honor someone. You get the idea…we can all learn and grow to be all the Lord would have us to be!

Learn a practical skill

My last thought would be to, now, at a younger age learn more practical skills. Ideas might be learning basic bookkeeping, homemaking skills, CPR, other medical or herbal skills that would be beneficial for caring for friends or family members.

Develop a craft that you enjoy to give as gifts to bless others. If you learn photography or internet skills you may be able to work from home if necessary, at any time of your life.

With some consideration to your personal interests, you will find ideas that work for you and help you serve those around you.

For all of us, our lives are made up of minutes, hours, days and weeks that add up to the sum of our lives. We all choose how we will spend our time. Please, use yours wisely.

-63-year-old Titus2 Woman

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Let’s chat in the comments! Single girls – which one of these particularly resonated with you? Also, Titus2 Women – what would be your answer to the questions: “What is some of the best advice you would give to a single young lady?” And: “What would you tell your younger, 20-year-old self?”

Keep an eye out in the next two weeks for part two of this post!

Sincerely,