Caregiver Scenes

As some of you know, my family and I have been caregiving for my grandparents for the past couple of years. My grandfather is in the late stages of Alzheimers, which is such a sad disease. While the journey of caregiving can be a hard one, I have found there to also be SO many blessings, and I wouldn’t trade this special time and experience for the world. ❤️

I know some of you have either cared for elderly relatives in the past, or are currently, and I wanted to start sharing some encouragement and things that I have experienced or learned in this caregiving journey. Below is a little scene from a novel that I am in the early stages of writing. The story centers around a family caregiving for their grandfather, and will include real life experiences…

Kitty Notley came clomping down the stairs, pausing at the landing to cast a glance at the big grandfather clock that had just chimed three thirty. “Almost time to start dinner preparations,” she thought. Her mind went to the to-do list that lay on her desk. . . the writing that needed to be done, the letter to respond to, the dress that needed to be mended, etc. And what a perfect time to check some of those things off while everyone was out of the house. Well, almost everyone. She glanced over at her grandfather sitting in his chair, his gaze fixed on the floor, lost in thought. Kitty stood there looking at him for a few seconds, her heart aching for the man she had known before. Her face brightened, and she dashed into her room. She picked up her Bible that lay on top of the scattered papers on her desk and returned to the parlor. Moving a kitchen chair across the room, she positioned it near her grandfather’s well-cushioned easy chair.

“Hello, Pap,” she greeted him with a smile. The only reply she received was a raising of his bushy grey eyebrows. Kitty thumbed through her Bible, the crinkling of its yellowed pages and the quiet ticking of the clock being the only sounds in the room.

Kitty looked over at her grandfather, who was absently playing with a button on his coat. “Would you like me to read to you from the Bible?”

Old Mr. Notley turned his head and replied with a slow but emphatic, “Oh, yes!”

Kitty smiled and blinked back the tears that threatened to come. Even though Pap didn’t respond much to what they said anymore, there were two things that almost always made him light up – God’s Word that he had studied and preached from the pulpit for so many years, and saying three little words to him – “I love you.”

“I thought I’d read from 1 John; I’m memorizing it, you know,” she continued. “1 John 1. . .” While reciting, Kitty occasionally glanced at her grandfather and found his eyes fixed steadily on her.

“. . . Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.”

Kitty caught her pap’s eye, and he smiled and nodded his head slowly, as if agreeing with the words she had just quoted. She had to pause because of the choking sensation that rose in her throat, and the tears that threatened to cloud her vision.

When she regained her composure, she finished reading the rest of John’s epistle. Kitty closed her Bible and leaned forward, her chin resting on her folded hands.

“You know, Pap, Caroline finished the song that she has been writing. It really is beautiful. I’ve still been writing some on my book when I find the time, and hope to finish it this year. I really appreciated all the editing you did on it back when I first wrote it.”

Kitty received her grandfather’s usual response to these types of conversations – a blank stare, an occasional “that’s good”, or a sentence that didn’t quite make sense and was usually left unfinished.

She looked into her pap’s face, which still held that blank stare. I wish we could talk like we used to, Pap. Do you understand what I’m saying? Do you remember who I am – your granddaughter, Kitty?

She asked him this last question out loud, but it didn’t evoke any response. The chimes from the grandfather clock broke the silence as they rang out their gentle tones. Ding. Dong. Ding. Dong.

Kitty sighed and rose to her feet. “I had best get dinner started.” She placed a hand gently on her grandfather’s arm. “I love you, Pap.”

Without looking up, the old man’s bottom lip quivered, and he gave a feeble, “I love you.” Kitty smiled and patted his arm once more before disappearing into the kitchen.